Tuesday, November 21, 2017

NaBloPoMo Day 21 - Your perfect schooling outfit

Ooo.  I remember schooling outfits!


As a kid, I always had riding tights, a stable of t-shirts that were thirteen kinds of screwed up by the time I grew out of them, and a french braid.  In winter, I had the lined riding jeans.

These days... yeah, um, since I'm not elbow-deep in neon pink Swat for three months of the year and can pick and choose when I clean tack, I'm not nearly so hard on my clothing.  That tends to mean I wear whatever rises to the top of the laundry basket that morning and yesterday's jeans, because the horses aren't gonna care.

Witness my stunning couture.  And a variety of faces ranging from "laughing" to "concentrating" to "I'm going to murder you for making me stand in the heat because you forgot how to walk on lead."

Really, the only thing I want is a good pair of half-chaps that doesn't cost an arm and a leg... and the other leg... and three fingers...  In my much-thinner-than-now days, I was a M in calf height and an XL or XXL in calf circumference; it hasn't gotten smaller.

Monday, November 20, 2017

NaBloPoMo Day 20 - Your favorite horse show

Oh, jeez.  I remember my least favorite show pretty clearly - makes an impression when the horse you're riding has a complete freak-out because something is new and you manage to disqualify yourself because you misheard the instructions from the judge - but the ones that weren't utter failures are... fuzzy.

...Probably because they're like 15 years ago.  I'm guessing.  lol

On the other hand, I have been to a show recently; I just didn't participate.  Unless 'manning a camera' is participating?  Because I did that.

We took the three babies from that year to a local schooling show for some exposure.  There were varying levels of enthusiasm...
I got this.
Trotting is icky and you're gonna get like two more steps out of me before I decide I'd rather walk, thanks.
But it was a good day.  :)

Sunday, November 19, 2017

NaBloPoMo Day 19 - A discipline you would like to do that you’ve never done before

I think I've always known that I want to try eventing.

I mean, I grew up on a steady diet of eventing on TV - often, as I think we all know, the only horse TV you can get, aside from the Triple Crown races - and it never once occurred to me that those jumps were big and scary.

Yeah, uh, adult brain says different?  But I still want to do it some day...

Saturday, November 18, 2017

NaBloPoMo Day 18 - Your grooming routine

I have three levels of grooming routine.

The Everyday
1. Catch horse and head over to the car trunk.
2. Optional scraping with a shedding curry.  Usually when there's mud, but every now and then because there's extra hair.
3. Curry and brush body and neck.
4. Brush legs and face.
5. Stare at mane and tail, decide not to bother.
6. Pick feet.

The Energetic
1. Steps 1-3 above.
2. Comb out forelock.
3. Despair of mane.  Tackle it with Cowboy Magic or the Canter detangler, a Tangle Tamer brush, and possibly scissors.
4. Despair of tail.  Tackle it with Cowboy Magic or the Canter detangler, a Tangle Tamer brush, and a lot of hope.
5. Cuss a lot.
6. Get stabbed by things stuck in the tail.
7. Bleed, cuss some more, and find a bandaid.
8. Finish the tail.
9. Run a comb through the mane, because at least it cooperates.
10. Braid the mane and forelock and take ridiculous pictures.
11. Pick feet.

The Bath
1. Put all electronics somewhere that's guaranteed to stay dry.
2. Hose off horse.
3. Put soap on horse.
4. Scrub.
5. Put on more soap.
6. Scrub.
7. Rinse horse.
8. Despair of mane and tail.
9. Put soap in mane and tail.
10. Massage hair and hope a miracle happens.
11. Rinse mane and tail.
12. Discover soap in horse's coat.
13. Rinse horse again.
14. Find more soap in the horse's coat.
15. Cuss.
16. Hose off horse again.
17. Pause to wring out shirt.
18. Find more soap and sigh.
19. Hose off horse and resolve to ignore any soap I find after that.
20. Pick feet.
21. Move horse away from the ant pile.
22. Comb out forelock.
23. Consider poor life choices, then pick up Cowboy Magic or the Canter detangler and a Tangle Tamer brush.
24. Tackle mane.
25. Contemplate whether tail is worth it.
26. Start on tail.
27. Seriously consider just cutting the tail off at hock level, because at least then someone can't get stabby bramble things in it.
28. Find a bandaid.
29. Take a break to commiserate with BOs about being completely and utterly soaked to the skin.
30. Finish tail.
31. Throw horse back in the pasture and curse at my 12 year old self, who loved horses with lots of hair.

Friday, November 17, 2017

NaBloPoMo Day 17 - Your equestrian idol

I mean, I totally admire the eventers and I'm fascinated by them, and I have a huge amount of respect for the show jumpers, but when it comes down to it - these guys are the masters.

NaBloPoMo Day 16 - Your favorite equine memory

I have one weird one, and one normal one.

The weird one - look, I spent last year really excited that I had horses.  So of all the silly things, the memory of buying a bag of grain for one of my own horses is a total favorite.  It was a bag of grain!  For my horse!  That I own! 

(Y'all, I was maybe a little too excited. lol I know I cracked my BOs up a few times.  "You'll need to buy dewor-"  "Here you go!  Look, you gave me a calendar and told me what to buy on it, and I got to buy dewormer for my horses.  So, uh, here's mine, and here's an extra one for one of the your horses...")

Cessa says I'm an embarrassment sometimes.
The other was getting to see the Spanish Riding School when they came to Texas.  It was the first time I dragged my now-husband off on a random equine expedition.  It was stupidly expensive, a long-ass day/drive, and we were practically sitting on top of some kind of box in the seating that made seeing around it challenging, and I didn't care.  I so wish I had brought a camera.  The various touring shows that have Lippizans have nothing on the real thing.

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

NaBloPoMo Day 15 - If you could speak to any horse, dead or alive, what would you say?

You know, this is one of those questions I stare at for a long, long time.

I... have to admit I've never really felt a burning need to speak to a horse...?  I mean, are we talking about the horse having a human-like intelligence here, or are we talking about a talking horse with the walnut-sized brains we all kind of suspect they have?

And even if we're talking human-like intelligence, we'd then have to assume human-like understanding and vocabulary, wouldn't we?  Because otherwise, we're having a conversation about "the big noisy thing that comes by home a lot" or "the green stuff I stuff my face with all day" instead of "the train that goes by the pasture" and "grass."


It's possible I'm overthinking this.  By a lot.

Here. Have a photo of the one foal my BOs had this year.  None of this happened.  Look at the pretty baby.